Category: Blog Posts

Blog Post #5

What’s going on everybody! You surviving the year? Its been nearly 7 months since my last post and it is truly wild how much the world has changed in that short amount of time.

Protests and riots in the street, a global pandemic that looks to be hitting its runner’s high and shows no sign of stopping, especially in America where our leaders pretty much just gave up on us from the jump. They are up there in private helicopters and having sex in masks in their Bilderberg meetings with all the other global elite, ya know? What do they care about the rest of us if they own the food supply.

Obviously I’m joking (a little) and I’m sure someone will give me grief for that but honestly, no one in America has taken it seriously and that’s why other countries point to us as a bad example of how to handle a pandemic. We started trying to prepare too late, did too little to really stop it while it was upon us and then gave up way too soon. This was all for the sake of saving an economy that is now plummeting even further because our consequences are finally catching up to us.

We are a country that puts economies and material over humanity and caring for each other, we value individualism over collectivism and fear over love. We do not look out for our brothers and sisters like the Bible intended and don’t treat others as our equals. We have become so divided that you would wonder how we are one country. It is because of this that we will never be free of this pandemic until there is a vaccine. It’s why Donald Trump will likely get elected next term and those that seem to genuinely care like Bernie will keep getting their legs swept from under them by their own parties and it’s why it is so hard for the disenfranchised living in America to ever create a lasting change.

Can someone please explain to me how an entire race of people can live in fear from those that are supposed to protect them in a country that is as developed and “great” as America is? How is it that America has the highest incarceration rate in the world by a very wide margin, with more than half locked up on minor drug charges in for-profit prisons? How the cops that executed a no-knock search warrant and fatally shot Breonna Taylor in her own house weren’t arrested and only one was even terminated? It is absolutely disgusting to watch and it has gotten to the point where I cannot go on social media because it actually takes a physical toll on me watching the abuse that is occurring daily in the streets. If someone can watch the videos of police brutality, especially their actions during the protests, and not demand reform, then they are part of the problem as well.

These aren’t even liberal ideas, it is literally just human rights. Somehow this was turned into a partisan issue when it very clearly should not be.

I don’t have any answers, I just know the bankers are somehow behind it all. I say we all come together as Americans and overthrow big banks and start to use community banks. They aren’t that much better but at least they try to support local businesses, not blow everyone’s money handing out loans like candy then beg for a bailout after they lose America’s money. The worst part? They don’t even get into trouble and they likely never will. They own the media so they can make the whole thing go away without a worry. We, as Americans, should throw one last protest and demand banks and 24 hour news networks be shut down or else we just straight up try to push the buildings over; or, push them somewhere else à la SpongeBob. Then we will see how quick we all begin to accept each other. Fear creates ignorance which creates hate; and this is exactly how news outlets stay in business.

It is times like these when we turn to the arts to look for beacons of unity, especially music as of late (nice segue right?). I have actually started making music using Ableton and a midi controller to keep me entertained during quarantine and it is the most fun I have had in a long time. I know I’m driving my friends crazy constantly sending them my new songs but it is so satisfying to get everything lined up and to create new sounds. I had no idea it would be this fun but I can’t get enough. Making something that is entirely your own is the best thing you can do; just the art of creating, even if it’s bad, is immensely satisfying and keeps you excited and present. When you are creating something, it is your contribution to the world and it immortalizes you forever.

By the way, that new J. Cole song Snow on tha Bluff is getting way too much grief too. In case you haven’t listened, the song was a reply to Noname supposedly calling him out, along with other black artists, for not putting a tweet up about the protests and George Floyd.

Before his song was released, both Cole and Kendrick were the subject of “cancellation” on Twitter for their silence on social media. In the words of the great Dave Chappelle, “Who gives a f*** what Ja Rule thinks?” It is unbelievably silly to try to bully great artists into giving a public statement in 180 characters when both of them have been silently attending protests and have spent their entire careers speaking out against police brutality and the treatment of African-Americans.

Right now, protests on the street are carrying the movement for equality, not public statements made by celebrities and rappers. Anyone can make a public statement with next to no ramifications (see just about any corporation, especially those that condemned the protests in Hong Kong in favor of keeping good relations with economic behemoth that is China but turned around here in America and claimed they always believed in fighting for justice), but protesting on the streets with the police ever more brutal and a global pandemic underway; that, to me, is bravery. I really do feel as if the momentum has finally shifted and some good is going to come out of this.

Anyway, in Snow on tha Bluff, he mentions how he feels that he doesn’t know how to be a leader and reach those who need to be reached, and he wishes others would help him learn about what he should say and how he should approach these difficult topics. He reinforces his belief that people shouldn’t look to him as a leader or for a statement during this time by closing the song with the line, “Why I feel faker than snow on the bluff? Maybe because deep down I know I ain’t doing enough.”

However, what I felt was the most important and overlooked line of the song was:

This feels very targeted toward Noname’s famous (or infamous depending on how you look at it) decision to stop performing and releasing music because there was predominantly white people in her crowds. In a series of now deleted tweets which can be found here, Noname details how she won’t be releasing any new music or performing concerts because too many white people showed up that didn’t understand the message in her songs and wouldn’t “challenge their liberalism”. These tweets felt very callous and out-of-touch with who her fan base really is and how she became famous in the first place. She has stated, even in the middle of her shows, that she is upset with the lack of energy and dancing and how she wished there were more black people in her crowds.

Her songs are directed more toward a black audience so she admittedly has a right to be upset; however, this is the big issue that arises when art is commodified. Artists have no way of controlling how their music is interpreted and digested and by which audience. While it may be true that she is writing music for African-Americans, she is creating songs in such a laidback indie poetry-rap style that is usually favored by more white audiences.

I have really enjoyed her music in the past, case in point.

There is too much for me to really try to break down here, as this is a very multifaceted and nuanced topic to discuss. But, I really did enjoy that line and Snow on tha Bluff as a whole. Cole understands what it takes many their entire lives to realize: fear does not create lasting peace. For Noname to truly educate and help African-Americans in their struggle for justice, she should not attack and condemn an entire race when they are often ignorant of the injustices of the past and the actions that must be carried out in order to achieve peace.

This is what Cole is trying to convey in this song. He was not attacking Noname as some are suggesting and he did not deserve the hate and “cancellations” as it is not even his own idea, but rather the messages of the great leaders that have come before us. Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, all understood that ignorance is almost always the root cause of hatred and both sides must be properly educated if any change is to occur.

That is also how Daryl Davis operates on a daily basis. If anyone is unaware of this incredible man, do yourself a favor and learn about him right now. He is an example of true bravery and exemplifies the human race in the best way possible.

I want to end this blog on a positive note. Engage in conversation when at all possible. Look for similarities that help you connect and bond with your fellow man rather than the differences. Stop watching national 24 hour news networks, especially Fox News and CNN as they feed off your ignorance and fear. Travel the world and expand your horizons. If you lose that desire to learn and explore, it will be very hard to rid yourself of old ideals that ensconce you in your way of thinking and make you unable to change for the better.

There will be a better day.

If you read all of this, then congrats! Here is a playlist with my summer jams for 2020. Enjoy it.

June 28, 2020
Blog #4

Favorite Albums of the decade ranked/ Update on my life

I heard blogs are supposed to be posted regularly and consistently, so that probably explains why this hasn’t taken off yet.

Edit as of 1/6/2020 I have been working on this long before the new year, I just haven’t had the time to finish it until now. If it is crazy long I apologize. I started writing as of 12/16/19.

Anyway, the semester is finally over and I finally have the time to revisit this website that I almost forgot about. Seeing as the decade ends in less than 20 days, I thought I would hop on the bandwagon and rank my top albums of the decade and try to get some of that clout before it’s too late.

Before that, I’ll give a quick update of my life since the last blog post almost 3 months ago. I got another job, this time it’s on campus so I’ll get paid while spending time on campus, something I’ve been dreaming of. I finished 3 group projects and learned way more about Fitbit than I’ll ever know what to do with. On the bright side, we think we found a way to solve the identity crisis they were going through before being bought by Google: advertise as an accessory to health care companies.

On the advice of 3 different professors, I started watching the show Mad Men and I gotta say, that show is really good. Season 4 was by far my favorite season so far, and the episode with Don and Peggy alone at the office was one of the best episode of TV I’ve ever watched. That ending after he made the call to California and shows Peggy his true vulnerable side was heartbreaking and really made me a fan of Jon Hamm. That show gets a little too intense some times though, so I constantly have to take breaks before watching more. But I take my breaks by watching The Punisher so it is a little twisted that I find that easier to watch.

Two weekends ago, I also went to an escape room with some friends that apparently had a success rate of 5% (I was told this on the way there, so I didn’t have much of a say). We were ushered into a room with an insane asylum theme; the room was dimly lit, there was crooked paintings on the wall, there were fake medication bottles and a room dedicated to look like a solitary confinement room with bouncy walls and strait jackets. It was actually super cool and fueled my addictive personality, putting me in the zone immediately and lead to me convincing myself I would get us out of there.

I didn’t.

We got all the way to the last puzzle and the buzzer ran out. We had just figured out what it was asking us to do and were about to start on it when time ran out. I really enjoyed the whole experience though because I love puzzles and thinking logically so I will probably have to try it again soon. I won’t stop until I escape.

But getting back to music, this decade really ignited my love of music like nothing else. I have been super interested in music my whole life but in 2013, on the recommendation of my youth minister, I signed up for Spotify premium. This was the best decision I have made in my life and made me fall in love with music like never before. My allowance at that time was $5 a week, so it cost me two weeks a month to pay for it but I don’t regret a single payment. While other friends were buying iTunes cards to pay for $15 of music, I had all the albums I could ever want for $10. I considered it forward thinking then and I still do today.

So with all that in mind, albums played a huge role in this decade for me as I grew up and my music taste matured. I decided to try to rank my 10 favorite albums from this decade, now that it has ended. What my favorite albums were and what the best albums were probably differ significantly and I could probably take a stab at that later, but for this list I’m thinking specifically about my own tastes. These albums are all solidified in my mind as classics and have stood the test of time as well, meaning I come back to them regularly and they still have the power to move me.

10. Process

Sampha

I remember this album coming out around the same time as the Big Sean album, I Decided. and while all my friends were paying attention to that record, I was entranced with everything about this one. The album is beautifully written and each song flows gracefully into the next, from electro-pop, to soul, to peaceful ballads. The album still remains cohesive while containing such differing sounds and it is one of my favorites of all time. There is something new I take from every listen of this record and it always keeps me interested.

“No One Knows Me (like the piano)” was the single leading up to its release and it conveyed such strong emotion with the opening piano signature that I had it on repeat for days, trying to recreate the melody at home myself. The song is a soft ballad to his late mother, describing how he used to try to play the piano when his mother was dying in order to cheer her up. This is easily one of my favorite songs of all time and there are a good deal of memories attached as well. Whenever this song comes on in shuffle, it always takes me out of the moment and I get lost in the music. Songs like that don’t come often, so it’s important to cherish them when they come along.

9. Apricot Princess

Rex Orange County

The first song I ever heard from Rex was Sycamore Girl and I was hooked immediately by his voice and the emotion ingrained within it. Soon after, I listened the whole album through and it was one of those where I knew right away that it was something special. Every song was raw and affected me so strongly that I didn’t know what else to do besides listen to it again.

The tracks manage to be bangers while still remaining poignant and still continues to keep me entranced the whole album through. That is something that seems to be unique to Rex; making every song something that you can sing your heart out to while also getting pumped up.

This is the kind of album I wish Rex had made instead of Pony. His new album wasn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination, but I think it lacked the character that was present in Apricot Princess and Bcos U Will Never B Free. It was tailored toward a mainstream audience and he was going for a more poppy sound so I can understand the effort and still listen to the album, but it doesn’t compare to his previous efforts for me. Pluto Projector, however, is a top 5 song from him.

8. Freudian

Daniel Caesar

I swear I haven’t heard one song from Daniel Caesar that I didn’t just immediately love. His voice is transcendent and never hits a wrong note; there is nothing smoother I swear. The summer after senior year, I was first introduced to DC through his singles Get You and Japanese Denim and I couldn’t believe just how much I connected with those songs. The melodies were so simple but so effective that it almost seemed obvious and I still find myself listening to those songs on a daily basis.

This album came at the end of a very influential summer and I made so many memories to all the songs here that it’s super hard to listen to without being pulled back into the past. That is probably the one constant between all the albums on this list: I have significant memories attached and listening can put me in an entirely different state of mind, no matter where I’m at. Good albums are therapeutic and I am constantly looking for more records that can put me in a trance like those on this list. Daniel Caesar makes it very easy on Freudian to get lost in the music and each song blends and transitions perfectly into the next until before you know it, the album is over.

7. 4 Your Eyez Only

J. Cole

This album is easily the most underrated album of the decade and it drives me up a wall. J. Cole has his smoothest and most personal lyrics to date on this record while delivering one of the greatest, most touching concept albums since good kid, m.A.A.d city. In case you don’t know the story, the album is composed of songs in which, supposedly, J. Cole details his childhood, finding love, having a baby and finding happiness all while trying to escape the street and the accompanying mentality. It isn’t until the very last verse on the album that we learn that the album is about one of his friends he grew up with and everything is dedicated toward this friend’s daughter. He raps about how her much her dad loved her and how nothing in his past mattered except the love that he had felt for her.

The last song which is also the title track of the album never fails to give me goosebumps; I’ve never heard a major artist in the peak of his career be so raw and emotional in a way in which he knew it would likely not be commercially successful. This album took an extreme amount of bravery to put out, and sadly was not as well received as it should have been in my opinion. This album was a intimate look into the life of Cole and one of his dear friends and after I understood the story and context, it left me with a more refined sense of empathy and what some people must go through on a daily basis because they are stuck in a system that has oppressed them and left them behind.

Foldin’ Clothes is also way over-hated.

6. Yeezus

Kanye West

I deliberated for a long time over which Kanye album I was going to include in this list. I knew at least one was going to be in here, so it was just a matter of which one I liked and connected with the most. I love every album of his, and I could argue for why each of his albums is his best (may have some trouble with Jesus is King but I could still probably make a case), but I always inevitably find myself revisiting Yeezus the most.

This album is abrasive, it’s dark, it’s frantic and it’s peak Kanye. He was riding on the high of Twisted Fantasy and everyone was once again excited to see where Kanye was going next. Unfortunately, it seems as if his Bipolar Disorder really began to strike hard around this album because it is pretty clearly the album created by a man in a manic state. That is a big part of what attracts me to this album though; it is such an erratic burst of all his emotions accompanied with honest lyrics and I feel as though it is his most vulnerable album. He is not able to control his state of mind, which is a feeling I’m sure we can all relate to at one point or another, and decides to let those emotions fly on Yeezus.

This record has always been there for me when I’m feeling restless or anxious and it also helps pump me up in my runs or workouts, making it twice as useful. Blood on the Leaves, New Slaves, and Bound 2 are all songs that I still revisit pretty often and deserve more credit in his discography, especially New Slaves.

5. To Pimp a Butterfly

Kendrick Lamar

Once again, it was hard to deliberate on my favorite Kendrick album. His discography is shaping up like Kanye’s if he keeps it up, as he has just produced classic after classic. I listened to DAMN. the most if I’m being honest and nothing will ever beat that first listening session for good kid, m.A.A.d city where I was so involved in the story that by the end of it, I was convinced I had actually just watched a movie instead. Sing About Me is Lamar’s best song by far in my opinion and if you haven’t listened to it yet, you are missing the song of your lifetime.

I won’t say much about this album objectively because what can I say about it that hasn’t been said by everyone else already. There is a reason it is on every “Top albums of the decade” list. This album has everything, it flows tremendously well, it has such a poignant message in every song, verse, line, it’s clever as hell (These Walls) and every emotion is contained in this album. There is a song for every mood.

Like most of my favorite albums, this took a while to grow on me. At first, all I could listen to was King Kunta and Alright but I began to like another song each day until I found myself listening to the whole record and going back for more. Each song can stand on its own right, but together it is one of the most cohesive albums to ever exist. The spoken word poem sets up each song and the theme behind it and eventually we find out ,on the track “Mortal Man”, that he has been reading this poem to 2pac. Kendrick and 2pac begin to have a conversation based out of an unheard interview he gave with a Swedish radio station in 1994.

This album has become a sort of stress relief for me. That may seem backward based on some of the subject matter, but the sounds are generally light and jazzy and are always there when I want something I can listen to that is able to take me out of reality for 50ish minutes and let me concentrate on the album rather than whatever is going on in my life at that moment. Records that take you out of reality for the entirety of their runtime and let you think of something other than your current situation are precious and I always value those above any other. There is music for every moment, but sometimes, I just want the music to take me out of the moment, and that is what To Pimp a Butterfly does for me.

4. Swimming

Mac Miller

I love this album so much that it hurts and it’s hard for me to listen to record to this day. I remember that it released on the same day as Astroworld by Travis Scott and everyone was talking about that album instead, but I chose to listen to this first. I still feel as though I made the right choice.

Mac sounds his most mature and self confident on this record. This is a big deal as this album actually features very little rapping and no accompanying features. It is just Mac singing over beautifully produced sounds. After a very public breakup and DUI earlier that year, this album was pretty widely anticipated as many wanted to hear his thoughts on the controversies he had been involved in. As a result, this record is a constant conflict between his struggles and his desire to reconcile them with his new sense of self love and positivity. He is metaphorically swimming and looking for solid ground between the highs and lows.

I’ll be the first to admit, this isn’t Mac’s best album (which would probably be “Faces”, even if it is a mixtape), but it is definitely my favorite and has the strongest memories attached. Every song brings back a new wave of nostalgia and puts me in a somber, reflective mood that I am stuck in until it ends. Swimming came at the tail-end of 2018, a year that found me struggling with depression, anxiety, self-doubt and a nasty breakup which left me isolated and scrambling to find solid ground. Through all of that, I had this record. Swimming was there when no one else was, and I began to count on it to get through my day. As a result, it is one of my favorite albums ever, but I struggle listening to it because of the memories attached and the feelings it brings out in me. This record will always remain a part of me though, and I wish I could say more about it but I still don’t really have the words to describe how much it meant to me.

3. Because the Internet

Childish Gambino

If you had asked me at any point in my high school career who my favorite artist was, the answer would be Childish Gambino easily. He was one of those artists who I couldn’t get enough of and I dove into his discography headfirst. Donald Glover is easily one of the most talented people alive right now; there are few who do as much as him so well and yet he still manages to fly under the radar which is a huge travesty.

Because the Internet was the first album that I truly fell in love with. Before it, I just listened to individual singles and songs that I liked, but had never bothered with whole albums before. This one changed all that for me. I don’t know what it was about it but one day I just decided to listen all the way through and I found that songs work best in an album form (as long as the artist knows what they are doing). The album perfectly represents my headspace in high school– confused and isolated– and it blew my mind to realize there was a whole album dedicated to the idea that someone else might be going through it too.

This album starts off fairly commercially accessible until “3005”, at which point the album seems to go off the rails. Glover/Gambino begins to detail his struggles with depression and loneliness and fake loyalty from his friends, all of which were things I was going through during high school. The back half of the album is the real beauty and it’s the side that everyone should check out. This album is one of the most underrated of the decade in my opinion and will always be the album that really got me addicted to music.

2. 22, A Million

Bon Iver

Not 6 months ago, I straight up could not stand this album. I thought it was just a weird collection of songs that didn’t sound like they were finished and didn’t make sense. I was so used to For Emma, Forever Ago and the natural, raw sound of Vernon’s voice, so I was not a fan of this jump to what sounded like futuristic, indie music. Then, like all great albums, it grew on me.

It’s now my second favorite album of all time, surmounting even FEFA. At some point, I realized that I couldn’t stop listening and found myself absorbed in the wild, unconventional sounds Bon Iver was able to produce on this record. I don’t think there has ever been an album quite like this before. Every piece was so carefully planned: from the robust, cryptic artwork, to the symbols and numbers found in track names, to the dense lyrics and unique samples. Every detail was thought out in the preparation of this album and as you begin to piece them all together, the listening experience only becomes more satisfying. This album isn’t accessible at first glance, but once you begin to really listen and pay attention, you understand the beauty and purpose behind the project.

I love every part of the album, but the last 3-song stretch is truly remarkable. 8 (circle) is a beast of a song. It is similar to Holocene in that it sounds larger than life to me and never fails to give me chills. Even with the lyrics right in front of you, it is still nearly impossible to decipher what he is trying to say. The outro is a thing of actual perfection in my eyes and if you haven’t listened, I don’t know what you’re doing. My favorite song still might be “00000 Million”. The haunting, melancholy melody and his best, most potent lyrics to date are in this song and is one of the best closers in existence. There is one line in the song that truly did make me change my worldview to some degree:

“What a river don’t know is to climb out and heed a line
To slow among roses or stay behind”

In my own interpretation, this is meant to say that rivers aren’t able to stop flowing and “slow among the roses” and take time to admire beauty. They can only go where the water is pushing them and have no choice/no option to climb out of the edge. We are so caught up in our lives going full speed ahead that we can forget to take time and see the beauty around us. We are all pointed in the same direction and are afraid to slow down for fear of being left behind.

This record is one of the best of all time and I hope others are able to give it a chance because it is a once in a lifetime record for me.

1. Blonde

Frank Ocean

By now, everyone knows the story of Frank Ocean, a reclusive genius who dropped one of the best R&B albums ever, and then dropped off the face of the earth for 4 whole years. No word of him except for the occasional blog post. And then, one glorious weekend, he releases two separate albums. Endless first and then Blond. At first, I wasn’t crazy about it. I felt like there was too much autotune interfering with the songs, and the chord progressions weren’t as poppy and bubbly as Channel Orange.

A couple months later, one of my friends was talking about it like it was the best album of the decade and went in depth about how much he was into it. With talk like that, I knew I had no choice but to jump back in and give the record a second try. One by one, the songs began to click with me. I realized how Nikes was becoming one of my favorite songs off the album, one that I had immediately hated at first.

Soon, I found myself listening to this album every day and connecting with every song on a deeper level than any record since. Whether you are in love, or going through a breakup, partying or just vibing out, depressed or enamored, this album seems to be just what you are looking for. It is universal, and someone not even interested in this type of music can still recognize the beauty and emotions buried in this album.

Blond is my most listened to album by a wide margin, which makes sense because I still listen to it at least once or twice a month, if not more. While other albums have come and gone, this record has stood the test of time better than any other. I have whole years of memories attached; if I don’t like a memory associated with it, I simply listen to it again and make some new ones. No other album has a staying power like that for me, and that is why it is easily my number one choice. This is a timeless and I really feel as though it is the album of my generation. Everyone has at least made one memory to one of these songs and feel strong waves of nostalgia every time it comes on. If you haven’t associated a memory with Blond, I strongly recommend getting out there and living life to its fullest, because it’ll make it nearly impossible not to. Frank Ocean is omniscient.

This took me over a month to finally finish, so I will really have to update again on more current events soon. I am going to have to start to use this blog for a class, so if some blogs come out as formal and not like my usual writing style, you’ve been warned. I might put a little *** at the end of every “professional” post just to give a heads up. If you read this far, you’re a champ and a saint and I thank you.

January 6, 2020
Blog #3

Post Malone/Mental Health/4 Hour Workweek

Wow how about that new Post Malone album huh? As is the case with all of Posty’s music, he makes some of the best good vibe jams I’ve ever heard. He has an ear for catchy melodies that is unmatched and I don’t see him declining in popularity any time soon. If anyone is going to rival Drake for the top spot, I think it is going to be Post. He doesn’t make deep or very thoughtful music but he still makes tracks that we can all connect to each other with and there is definitely a large demand for an artist like that, as shown by his astronomical sales.

I wasn’t as crazy about beerbongs and bentleys as Stoney, but with this new release I reignited my love for that crazy dude. Hope he can live long enough to keep making albums though. The way he smokes and drinks makes me think that it isn’t a very sustainable lifestyle and his super unique voice can only take so many Marlboros.

Sorry for the late post, it has taken me a while to find time for myself just to process how life has been going for me lately and I gotta say; it’s going fantastic for once. Just half a year ago, I was struggling big time and couldn’t see an end in sight but I promised myself that I would never give up.

So instead of calling it quits, I made a list of what I wanted accomplished that would make me feel better about myself. Then I created a plan (since I am goal oriented) and created a list of steps to reach these goals. I’ve been knocking them off one by one and looking back and seeing this progress and how far I’ve come just in six months is immensely satisfying.

Everyday is still a struggle not to slide back to being who I was but I’ve found that focusing on my strengths and aiming for that next goal is what keeps me going forward. Good music helps a lot with that too I’ve found. I used to only listen to emotional, depressive music and it didn’t do a whole lot for my mental health. Now I try to consciously listen to happier things if possible and it definitely has helped me stay on top of everything going on in my life.

If all else fails, I still can have a beer.

I am finally getting better at improvising on guitar and I think it is the most fun thing I have ever jumped into. I still have not officially learned the scales but I can see a pattern once the song has started and its just a matter of trial and error. I know that this is a terrible way to learn guitar and if any real players are reading they are probably disgusted but in the meantime it’s way too fun to stop. I put my speaker right next to my guitar and make up solos and melodies for each song to harmonize with the existing ones and it has gotten to the point where I play for hours on end just making stuff up. It is fun to try to guess what the key of a song is and I can tell it is improving my ear as I can start to understand what chords are what and then create my own tabs rather than having to look it up on Ultimate Guitar.

I don’t even like playing regular songs anymore because it is just not as fun. Why would I try to play chords when I could make up a solo for an existing song that doesn’t need it?

I have been rereading 4 Hour Workweek and really trying to take it to heart this time around. I have always had a problem working for others, my current job being no exception, so I am looking for ways to automate and work for myself so I can have more free time because I realized some time ago that what I value most in the world is my time. Nothing is more valuable to me than being able to choose what I want to do, when I want to do it. College has really helped me realize that and I understand now that what the rich have and what others don’t see as the real luxury is time. My whole life, I have not had the ability to dictate my own schedule until just the last couple years and I realize how much I want to be able to retain this freedom my whole life.

For those in my major, they usually follow the same track of graduating and proceeding right into the agency life in which “junior” employees will work 80 hour weeks for pathetic pay and no credit and end up leaving in 3 years due to exhaustion. I have seen the path and I realized I want nothing to do with it. I chose advertising for two reasons: I would be able to write and the growth in this field is astronomical so I would always have a job. Once I got into my university, I then started to understand what life after college in this major would really be like and I’m uneasy. I want to write and I want my free time and this major won’t guarantee both.

I am trying to understand how freelance writers get into the business and maybe I would be able to travel and write like I have always been wanting to. This blog has really helped me just to write more and improve upon myself so that might be the first start.

Later.

September 17, 2019
Blog #2

Communicating, Bon Iver, Hurricane Dorian

What’s Good?

I thought I would try writing twice a week instead of just once because I usually have so much that I need to get out of my system. I really need to schedule them to come out on certain days but I just get so busy that I forget.

How are some people born with the gift of gab?

I honestly struggle with being able to talk and verbalize whatever I am thinking and usually just find it easier to remain in silence. Some people seem to communicate so effortlessly and show emotion that wasn’t allowed in my house growing up. Not that we were Catholics or anything crazy like that, my dad just never showed anything but seriousness and my mom was energetic at her job, but exhausted and in bed by 8pm. I didn’t have any siblings, so I just assumed that keeping things to yourself was the norm. My parents were old fashioned too and told me often to be “seen but not heard” so I think I took that a little too literally and just never learned how to communicate effectively. I still love them though and all they do for me, and the decision to not learn to be a better talker is entirely on my shoulders.

Admittedly, I used to be better at it until about Sophomore year in high school when I just chose to stop speaking for almost a whole year. This wasn’t my greatest idea and set me so far back that it was as if I never knew how to speak at all.

Lately I have been trying to return to form and be better at communicating and just carrying a meaningful conversation. My current job has helped a lot with this, as I have to sell leases and then work with prospective leads in order to solve any problems they may have.

The only way is forward, so I just have to keep practicing. Comedians often have to bomb for years before they actually go somewhere (with the exception of Dave Chappelle, who was good since birth), so I have to use this principle when communicating and just go out there and stumble around until I finally find my footing. That would likely be my advice to anyone in the same situation as me; go out there and embarrass yourself until you aren’t scared of looking silly anymore, at which point you will probably find yourself a much better conversationalist.

Anyway(s), like I said on Saturday, I have been listening to Bon Iver nonstop the past week and I think it’s been one of my longest breaks from hip-hop in a long time because I just can’t get enough. I saw somewhere the other day that his albums represent the 4 seasons and it makes so much sense that I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before.

For Emma, Forever Ago– Winter; this seems pretty cut and dry. The minimalist production, the sparse vocals and even the “frozen” album cover represent the loneliness and silence of winter so well and fits perfectly.

Bon Iver– Spring; the songs on this album really feel as though they are coming alive. The opening track “Perth” starts with a quiet guitar slowly building up into a crescendo until it finally takes a life of its own and transitions into a grand production, the likes of which hadn’t been really seen from Bon Iver before. This is similar to the transition of the dead of Winter into the new life of Spring.

22, A Million– Summer; it took me a longer time to get into this album but once I listened enough, it finally clicked and I realized how truly brilliant it is. It would likely be more a summer night album, but it seemed to me to be a realization of everything Justin Vernon had been searching for. The production was rough and gritty, which eventually is what sold the album for me and has some of the most creative ideas in an album that I’ve ever heard. The album remains upbeat and carries positive lyrics throughout most of the runtime, giving me the impression that, like Summer, everything is going right and it is representative of the happy memories he carries from this time in his life. The album closes with 00000 Million, one of the best closers I could imagine. It features a sole piano playing a slow, pensive progression and shows Justin at his most nostalgic (similar to themes from Blond about nostalgia and summertime), while still looking forward for what is to come. He has accepted his past and is now looking to the future with his newfound self-acceptance.

i,i– Fall; this album is his newest and I am still digesting it, but it does seem to fit with the pattern. This album is more withdrawn while still building on the ideas and themes from 22, A Million. The production is more refined in this project, with wistful synths conveying a sense of the need to slow down and self-reflect, something that is often associated with Autumn. I am still going through this album, but I have come to really appreciate everything the group was attempting on this record and, like all Iver albums, can really convey feelings and put me in a mindset in which words could never do justice.

If I don’t write again, it is probably because hurricane Dorian has swallowed me up. As of the time of writing this, it is headed directly for us and shows no signs of stopping. But I have a serious issue with taking this seriously, as I can’t stop thinking about JD from Scrubs. Zach Braff’s twitter is full of memes of him coming to Florida and it makes me laugh too much to be afraid this storm. If you haven’t seen them, I highly recommend you go to his twitter and check them out.

This turned out way longer than I intended, but I just get so wrapped up in these thoughts. The only way for me to get them out of my head is to get them onto this blog. This isn’t really a self-help or informational blog, it is more just my thoughts on life and it’s not meant to become big or helpful, just to keep me writing. If you stuck through this blog, I honestly give you props and I’m glad to have you here. I know it wasn’t easy. Maybe contact me and tell me what you want to hear me write about and I’ll see if I know enough to say something.

Alright, later.

Image taken from Zach Braff’s twitter. Please don’t sue.

August 29, 2019